From Coping to Resolving: Why Your Mental 'Quick Fixes' Are Keeping You Stuck in a Loop
- Rob McClintock
- Jul 2
- 8 min read
Ever feel like you're running on a hamster wheel? You know, that sensation where you're constantly moving but never actually getting anywhere? That's what happens when we rely on mental quick fixes instead of truly resolving our issues.
The Coping Carousel
Let's be honest – we live in a world obsessed with quick fixes. Feeling anxious? Take a deep breath. Stressed about work? Try this five-minute meditation. Can't sleep? Here's a supplement. While these strategies might provide temporary relief, they often don't address what's really going on beneath the surface.
As I've observed in my practice, coping strategies are exactly what they sound like – they help us cope. They're like putting a bandage on a wound that actually needs stitches. The bleeding might slow down temporarily, but it hasn't truly healed.
The problem with coping mechanisms is that they create a loop. You feel anxious, you use your coping strategy, you feel better momentarily, but then the anxiety returns – often stronger than before – and you're back to square one. It's exhausting, and it's keeping you stuck.
The Difference Between Coping and Resolving
Coping is about managing symptoms. Resolving is about addressing causes.
Think about it this way: If your house is flooding because of a burst pipe, you can keep mopping up the water (coping), or you can fix the pipe (resolving). One approach keeps you perpetually busy but never solves the problem; the other requires more initial effort but creates lasting change.
In my work with clients, I've seen how this plays out in real life. People spend years – sometimes decades – using various coping strategies for anxiety, depression, or trauma. They might exercise, practice mindfulness, or use substances to manage their symptoms. These strategies might work in the moment, but they're energy-intensive and ultimately unsustainable.
Why We Default to Coping
So why do we keep reaching for the bandages instead of looking for the stitches? There are several reasons we tend to favour coping over resolving.
Immediate gratification feels good. When you're drowning in anxiety at 2 AM, a breathing technique that provides instant relief feels like a lifeline. It's natural to gravitate toward what gives us immediate comfort, even if it's temporary.
Resolution feels overwhelming. Let's face it – it seems easier to manage symptoms than to dig into root causes. The idea of exploring what's really driving our patterns can feel daunting, especially when we're already struggling to get through each day.
Our culture promotes quick fixes. We're surrounded by messages that there's a hack for everything. Social media feeds are full of "Try this one trick" and "Five-minute solutions." We've been conditioned to expect instant results rather than embrace the deeper work that creates lasting change.
Sometimes we're afraid of what we might discover. There's a part of us that wonders: what if we look deeper and find something we can't handle? It can feel safer to stay on the surface, managing symptoms rather than risking what we might uncover.
Many people simply don't know there's another way. If you've spent years being told that anxiety or depression is something you'll need to "manage for life," it might never occur to you that resolution is possible.
The most insidious part? These coping strategies can become so habitual that we don't even realise we're using them. They become our go-to move whenever things get uncomfortable, and before we know it, we're stuck in patterns that leave us exhausted and feeling like we're not really living.
The Path to Resolution
So how do we break free from this cycle? The good news is that moving from coping to resolving isn't about abandoning your coping strategies cold turkey. Rather, it's about using them as a bridge while you do the deeper work of resolution.
Start with awareness. Begin by noticing your coping patterns without judgment. What do you automatically reach for when you're stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed? Recognition is the first step toward change.
Get curious about what's beneath the surface. Instead of immediately jumping to manage the symptom, pause and ask: what is this really about? What am I trying to avoid or manage? This curiosity opens the door to understanding root causes.
Find the right support. This is where choosing the right professional becomes crucial. You want someone who specialises in resolution rather than symptom management, and this distinction matters more than you might think.
Finding Resolution-Focused Support
Not all therapy or healing work is created equal. If you're serious about moving from coping to resolving, you need to be selective about who you work with.
Look for professionals who prioritise outcomes over rigid time constraints. Resolution-focused practitioners understand that meaningful change can't always be forced into predetermined timeframes. They provide the space to get the outcome rather than being bound by arbitrary session limits.
Pay attention to their language and philosophy. Resolution-focused practitioners will talk about getting to root causes rather than managing symptoms, helping you resolve issues permanently rather than cope indefinitely, and working with the unconscious mind to create lasting change. They're interested in addressing the "why" behind behaviours, not just the behaviours themselves.
As I often explain to clients: "Whatever the need is... smoking is a symptom. Smoking was a catalyst... the substance or the behaviour is the coping strategy to something greater."
Consider their personal journey. Professionals who specialise in resolution often have significant lived experience with the issues they treat. Having walked the path themselves, they understand that traditional talk therapy often falls short. They know the difference between talking about problems and actually resolving them.
Understand their treatment philosophy. Resolution-focused professionals will explain that coping strategies are temporary fixes that require constant maintenance, that true healing happens when you no longer need to manage symptoms, and that the goal is to resolve issues in an appropriate time rather than create long-term dependency.
Watch for red flags. Be wary of professionals who focus primarily on symptom management without exploring underlying causes, seem invested in keeping you in therapy indefinitely, rely heavily on medication or surface-level coping strategies without addressing root causes, don't work with unconscious patterns, or use rigid, one-size-fits-all approaches.
Ask the right questions:
"What's your approach to resolving issues versus managing symptoms?"
"How do you work with unconscious patterns and beliefs?"
"What does successful completion of therapy look like in your practice?"
"Do you have personal experience with the issues I'm facing?"
"How do you determine when someone no longer needs therapy?"
Look for integration-focused approaches. Resolution involves integrating past experiences rather than just talking about them repeatedly. Sitting on lots of couches and telling your story over and over again makes very little difference. Resolution-focused therapists help you process and integrate experiences so they no longer control your present.
Practice patience with yourself. Resolution takes time, but it's different from the endless time spent in coping loops. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this process – you're literally rewiring patterns that may have been with you for years.
Trust the integration process. As you resolve underlying issues, you'll naturally need your coping strategies less and less. This isn't about willpower or forcing change – it's about creating the internal shifts that make the old patterns unnecessary.
What Integration Actually Looks Like
If you're wondering how you'll know when real change is happening, integration isn't a dramatic, Hollywood-style breakthrough. True change often happens in a subtle, profound way, rather than through dramatic breakthroughs. It's more like pieces of a puzzle quietly clicking into place.
The integration process primarily happens at an unconscious level. The conscious mind doesn't need to figure everything out – it just needs to allow the process to happen. Often, integration involves reconciling conflicting parts of yourself, discovering that seemingly opposing aspects actually share the same positive intention.
Here's how people typically know they're making progress:
You'll find yourself naturally needing your old coping mechanisms less. You won't have to force yourself to stop using them – you'll simply find yourself not reaching for them as often because the underlying need has been resolved.
You'll shift from reactive to responsive. Instead of being ruled by things outside of yourself, you develop genuine choice and response in any situation. You notice yourself pausing before reacting, having more options in challenging situations.
Mental clarity and energy increase as you free up mental processing power that was previously tied up in managing symptoms. Clients often report feeling like they can think more clearly, make decisions more easily, and have more energy for life.
Your relationship with past events changes. Rather than being triggered by memories or avoiding certain topics, you can think about past events with perspective and wisdom. The emotional charge dissipates, allowing you to keep all of the wisdom and perspective while releasing the emotional reactivity.
Behaviours change organically without willpower or constant effort. People naturally act from their integrated state rather than fighting internal conflicts.
There's an embodied understanding – a felt sense of "knowing" that goes beyond intellectual understanding. People report feeling more solid, grounded, or "together" in themselves.
Self-sabotage patterns reduce as you recognise that all parts of yourself have positive intentions, even if the methods were problematic. True integration eliminates the belief that there's a part of you trying to mess you up.
What integration feels like: People often describe it as a sense of inner peace or quiet, feeling "more like themselves," having access to resources they didn't know they had, a natural confidence that doesn't require effort to maintain, and being able to be present without constantly managing internal conflicts.
The timeline isn't linear – you might notice changes immediately after working on something, or they might emerge gradually over days or weeks. A key indicator of progress is developing trust in your own unconscious wisdom, allowing it to come up with solutions rather than trying to control every aspect of the healing process.
The Parable of the Leaky Roof
There once was a man who lived in a small cottage with a leaky roof. Every time it rained, water would drip into his living room. At first, he simply placed a bucket under the leak to catch the water. This worked fine for occasional showers.
As time went on, the leak worsened. The man added more buckets, then pots and pans, until his floor was covered with containers to catch the water. He became an expert at emptying these containers, timing his sleep around the rainfall, and protecting his belongings from water damage.
His neighbours often asked, "Why don't you fix the roof?"
"I don't have time," he'd reply. "I'm too busy managing all these buckets!"
One day, a particularly heavy storm hit. Despite his elaborate system of containers, water began to damage his floors and furniture. Exhausted and desperate, he finally called a roofer.
The roofer examined the roof and said, "This would have been a simple fix if you'd addressed it early on. Now it's going to require more extensive repairs."
The man invested in fixing his roof properly. It took time and money, but once it was done, he was amazed at how much energy he had. No more emptying buckets, no more anxiety about the weather forecast, no more sleepless nights during storms. He realised that all the time he'd spent "managing" the problem could have been spent enjoying his life.
From Surviving to Thriving
When we shift from coping to resolving, we move from surviving to thriving. We free up mental and emotional energy that can be directed toward growth, creativity, and connection. We become more present, more resilient, and more alive.
The beautiful thing about resolution is that it's lasting. Once you've addressed the root cause of an issue, you don't need to keep managing symptoms. You're free to direct your energy toward growth and fulfilment rather than mere survival.
As one of my clients once said after doing the deeper work of resolution: "I didn't realise how much energy I was spending just trying to keep my head above water. Now I'm actually swimming – and enjoying it."
The journey from coping to resolving isn't always easy, but it's infinitely worthwhile. It's the difference between constantly treating symptoms and actually healing. Between running on a hamster wheel and moving forward on your path.
So I invite you to consider: Where in your life are you stuck in coping loops? What might be possible if you invested in resolution instead? The answer might just change everything.
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